Grooming/pedo allegations

Before you read, there is spelling mistakes as I usually update this very late at night and I do not proof read.This is me clearing stuff up simply because the internet chooses to believe I’m a dubbed down bad person. That is completely far from the truth about me. I have NEVER once been attracted to kids and never have. The fact I always have to state this about myself is strange but at least it gets a message out there. Firstly, my dni is listed as 16+, meaning that only 16 and over can interact with me. I’ve tried to give several chances of exception with this but it’s only resulted in people calling me a groomer/pedophile. The motto I live by is that you should have your parent moderate what you see and what you don’t. To me, it’s not my job to police your kid on the internet as I have better things in life to be concerned about. It frustrates me to no end I always have to keep talking about this as when I do those actions, I’m never for them. I am in fact entirely against them. I apologize for my behavior multiple times and tried to clear with people that I am not a groomer/pedophile. I never realize my behavior unless I’m told that said action I did was wrong. I am mentally disabled if that wasn’t evidently clear from my strawpage.
The point I’m making with this is that I am NOT a groomer or a pedophile. I’ve had my stomach twist and have genuine moments of second guessing myself if that’s who I truly am, it’s had my nights be sleepless, make me vomit, etc. It’s gotten to a horrible level to where I’ve had to ask genuinely to people that if I’m a pedophile or groomer, which not only makes me feel shameful and disgusted, but has made me lose trust in many people over the years and make me much closed off and scared to even make friends anymore. I feel a scared to trust others and genuinely talk to others to make friends or be friends with people. It makes me cry because I want to have friends but I assume to myself that I do not have any friends or even nobody wants to be friends with me because of these false accusations.
This is not meant to be a sob story, rather, my feelings boiled down to how I feel about these allegations and how tired I am. If you make any such allegations towards me no matter reading what I wrote you will be perma blocked. I will not unblock you whatsoever no matter the answer given. These allegations have been both life threatening and damaging to my own well being to where, as I explained earlier, I am fearful to ever talk to people again.
I want this to clear the air once and for all as I’m tired of explaining myself constantly over and over again.
Update: 6/8/26
After some discussion with somebody who I won't name as it isn't related, I can say that I do have pOCD. Now this means Pedophilia-Focused Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I will explain it as I feel it is very important to this. pOCD is a type of OCD that ties in with mental health that's characterized unwanted, distressing, intrusive thoughts, urges, or fear of being sexually attracted to or harming children. People like this are horrified and disgusted by these thoughts as the thoughts in question are completely against my own values. Now this is important to note that I am NOT a pedophile, I do not enjoy these types of thoughts. I am disgusted by them and entirely against them. Pedophilia is the act of seeking and enjoying such behavior of taking advantage of kids, which is the complete opposite of how I am entirely. I am entirely distressed by ever being around kids and it makes me sick. I feel like I'm strongly suffering in silence because of this disorder until somebody pointed it out, I looked into it, and found out that I feel the exact same way. This is NOT an excuse for the behavior I've cause to people, I apologize profusely for what I've done as it completely goes against my own thoughts.
Around the age of 11-17 I was taken advantage of by many people. I do not want to discuss it as its very traumatizing to have me think of such. They have psychologically messed with my brain to think I am doomed to repeat the same mistakes they have done to me. I refuse to ever do that to people. I do not want to get into much detail as I'm severely still shaken up by their behavior and sickened by it every single time I think about them.
As I have said before, this is NOT a cover up for my behavior, nor have I ever said it was. As for me getting help, I am currently in touch with my therapist about this and in the hopes she can help me. This is disgusting for me to even discuss but I figured I should add it as it adds provided context.
As of now my DNI is still 16+ but only within public servers and group chats. You do have to be 18+ to dm me, theres no exceptions to this unless it is a severe situation.
If you would like to know more about this disorder, you can read upon this.